Growing Pains

Hey, my name's Krisi, I'm 21 years old and I recently spent the last four years of my life working towards a Bachelors in the Science of Nursing at USM on the Gulf Coast. I also recently just failed out of nursing school. Long story short: I gave it my all and my all wasn't enough.

I thought that God's plan was for me to graduate from USM with my BSN and now that it's not going to happen I feel lost, (very) confused, and sad. This is a hard season for me. I'm a planner and a list maker, and now I feel stripped of all my plans and goals. I don't know where to go from here.

This is possibly the weirdest season I've ever had. Thirty percent of me feels like a stupid failure, is embarrassed, and is lost as all get out. The other seventy percent of me knows that my worth never has been and never will be found in my earthly successes. I might die a little on the inside the first few times I have to explain that I'm 21 years old and starting over with the whole figuring-it-out thing while my old high school friends are eagerly about to start their careers; but I'm a child of The One True King and He is the ONLY One I will ever allow to define me or judge me.

So this is where I'm at currently. Somewhere between lost, sad, crying a lot, and Found, Joyful, and smiling and giggling a lot.

This is what I love about being saved. You see, because God planned my whole entire life before I took my first breath, and because Christ died for my sins, I can find joy even in the worst pains. In this season of redirection and figuring everything back out, I can still be free to smile and have pure, genuine joy because I know that no matter what, my Father, the Maker of the universe, already has it all planned out, and that is so cool. I can rest at night knowing that God is working all things for my good and He's got my back. He'll be holding my hand the whole way through this. amen&hallelujah

I was recently encouraged by an interviewer in my quest for a new job. They asked me where I see myself in five years and I couldn't think of anything to say, because I haven't thought of any new plans yet. My interviewer ended up sharing with me all of the different careers and degrees she got before she finally landed on nursing. There are also many women at my church that are grown, with families, and just now getting their nursing degrees. Not succeeding right now is really not that big of a deal. I'm really okay. Maybe God just needs me somewhere else right now. Or maybe He has a different plan entirely.

It's a real pain, but it's also time to just pray hard and move on to the next thing.

Thank you for clicking my first blog! I'm thinking my update schedule will be every Saturday between 10am-12pm.

I'm so glad you found yourself here! You are so incredibly loved!

More coming soon <3

If you find yourself in a difficult or transitional season too, feel free to head over to my "about" tab, scroll down to the "contact" section, and fill out the information area with a prayer request!

"Everything is alright even if it's not alright because The One Who holds the stars is holding my whole life."